I’m ridiculously picky about my Tarot and Oracle decks. Disgustingly so. And it makes my life fucking difficult.
Some people are like, “I stopped by my local metaphysical shop and grabbed a new deck!” You…you just GRABBED one? Like you went there and they actually had one you liked? They’ll say, “Well, they have like 30 different decks to choose from–”
Stop it. My local metaphysical shop has 50 decks and I hate them all.
No goddamn angels.
I don’t want to hear about fucking faeries unless they’re Brian Froud.
Animals are fine, but they need to be stylized nicely.
No cutesy bulging-eyed bullshit.
No white backgrounds.
No abstract colored/mandala cards–I have the On High Tarot, thank you very much, and all this other shit will never be nearly as good.
No crystal cards. I have actual crystals.
No romance novel covers.
No neo “goth” decks with scantily-glad Hot Topic girls crying mascara and drooling blood.
No photograph decks.
No ugly people.
I don’t connect with Asian-style decks, even though I love how some of them look.
Get that Christo-Pagan shit away from me.
No comic book illustrations.
Did I mention fuck angels?
Also, I have weird “balance” rules. Gender: I want females AND MALES in my deck. And I want the genders to be impartial. If there are men on two cards and they’re both “knight-in-shining-armor” on a white horse bullshit–that’s still an all female deck. Alternatively, a deck full of naked women lounging their way through the major arcana with couple iron-clad men is a male deck.
Which brings me to my next issue: nudity. Please, draw me some naked people. Really. But not just for the sake of drawing titties. I want the nudity to have a fucking reason. It needs to add meaning to the cards. This is the tarot, for Christ’s sake, it’s supposed to be a striking depiction of the human condition, not a fucking porno. I want naked men and women, thanks.
So, with all of those parameters, decks I like are hard to find.
Do you have special “rules” when it comes to your decks? Or am I the only asshole with 500 specifications?