Fuck the “Spiritual” Matriarchy

(Also, fuck the patriarchy.)

Now for today’s edition of My Unpopular Opinion:

Ladies. Let’s talk.

At my local yoga studio, they have a “special” once a week men’s class.

Yay! Good for them! Right?

No. Fucking no.

I wouldn’t have batted an eye if they also offered a “special” once a week women’s class. But they didn’t. Apparently, men aren’t invited to the eight classes they have every day and the seven others on Thursdays.

Sure, come do some yoga! But do it over there, away from us.

Be spiritual, men! But go do it on your own because we don’t want you here.

If my husband dares to walk into the metaphysical shop with me, the three girls behind the counter stare at me as if I’d just brought Donald Trump into a Mosque.

Saying the words, “It’s all about balance,” doesn’t do shit if you don’t live that way.

With “spirituality” spreading rapidly in the west, we need to be embracing men who are interested in what we’re doing and what we have to say. Conscious men are every bit as important as conscious women. THEY’RE THE OTHER FUCKING HALF OF THIS.

If all of us women have realized that we’re badass goddesses, does that not make men badass gods as well? Remind them.

Be angry. But don’t let it cloud your judgement.

As the mother of two boys and one girl, I’m hyper aware of this shit going both ways. We went to see the new Disney movie, Zootopia, the other day. (It’s actually awesome. Don’t let the cutesy animals fool you.) The main character is a bunny, Judy, who becomes the first bunny cop on the force. She was one strong-ass character. Then I started thinking back on other Disney movies. Frozen comes to mind. There are two more badass heroines. But what do the men in Frozen do? Well, Hans is a lying asshole and Kristoff is kind of dumb and too late to be of any use.

Dumb and useless or a lying asshole. Take your pick, boys, because those are the things you can grow up to be!

As we strive for more bold and wonderful females, don’t leave our boys and men left with nothing to be but dumb assholes.

Girls even have great role models. They’ve got J.K. Rowling, Beyonce, the list goes on and on. But who do boys have? Dog-fighting, wife beating NFL players? Um…Kanye West and Justin Bieber? Seriously, I need some male role models.

But what if it could be us? What if the spiritual community, as a whole, not only accepted men into our ranks, but encouraged it? Or even expected it?

I expect it.




Why I Don’t Read Reversals

That’s right. I don’t read reversals in my tarot readings.

I get tagged and messaged quite often on Instagram with people asking for help or my opinion on a reading they’ve done. Nine times out of ten, they’re flipping shit over a reversed card.

My recommendation? Step number one: turn that shit right side up. Step number two: glean information from the cards.

Why? Let me share with you why I, personally, don’t read reversals.

Tarot cards are worlds. Each of the 78 cards is a door into an entire world that’s based around that one idea. It has the good, the bad, and everything in between that has to do with this theme. That being said, I don’t find reversals necessary.

Reversals give the cards too strict of a meaning. It takes away their power. Learning to read the tarot isn’t just memorizing “meanings.” This isn’t a multiplication table.

For example, some people read court cards as the “positive” attributes of the character portrayed if it’s upright and the “negative” aspects if it’s reversed. But if I draw the Queen of Cups, that’s a door I’ve opened that has everything to do with the Queen of Cups: LIGHT AND SHADOW.

So how the fuck do I know, then, to read it as positive or negative if I don’t do reversals? Well…

Where is it in the spread? If I draw the Queen of Cups for a space that’s “what is no longer serving me,” that’s probably not going to be the Queen of Cups’ positive traits.

Or what are the other cards around it? If I do a three card spread and draw the Queen of Cups, The Devil, and The Tower, that’s definitely going to be refering to her shadow aspects.

No, seriously, though. How do I know? MY INTUITION.

Tarot cards aren’t mathematical equations. Don’t treat them that way.

Hermione Shouldn’t Have Gotten Married, Huh?

It’s International Women’s Day.

Which turns out to be the perfect day to discuss a Harry Potter article that I read a while back whose very title made me bristle.

It was something like 5 Reasons Hermione Shouldn’t Have Gotten Married.

Now hold the fuck up.

Just maybe…she did it…because she fucking wanted to.

The article spoke of how strong of a woman Hermione was and that she “didn’t need no man.”

You’re damn right she doesn’t. But maybe she wants one.

There are people out there expressing disappointment that Hermione Granger got married and had children. Like she was “too strong” and “too intelligent” for that.

These people are the problem. They parade around declaring themselves feminists, but at the same time they are disappointed by women doing things that, well, women do.

Women are made strong and powerful by what they do. They do not have to do traditionally masculine things to be powerful. Women doing traditionally masculine things to become “strong” makes what they’re doing no longer feminism.

Was Mrs. Weasley not a strong female character? Did the fact that she was married to Arthur Weasley make her weak? Was she weak for having had seven children? Was she weak for giving what little she had to those who needed it? Did it take away her strength when she stepped in as a mother to Harry whenever he needed one? When her boggart turned into each of her children lying dead before her, did you lose your faith in her? When she killed Bellatrix Lestrange, was she discredited because it was to avenge her son?

Not a fucking bit. She was strong BECAUSE of those things, not in spite of them.

And Hermione will be too.

And so will you.

My Weird Sacred/Divine Masculine Comparison

I am forever doomed to point out things other people don’t like to talk about.

This post veers dangerously close to my issue with so much modern “spirituality” focusing only on the Sacred Feminine, but I’ll give you a chance to get all up-in-arms over my opinion on that in another post.

There are a million examples, articles, everything pointing out what the Sacred Feminine looks like. How to spot it, how to fix it, how to act like it. Everyone’s a goddess. In an (understandable) attempt to overthrow male dominated societies, masculine traits have become almost demonized. We’re overcorrecting.

There are a few articles out there that will break the Sacred Masculine down into the Sage, Father, Lover, Warrior, etc. But WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE?

Enter my odd example.

Naked and Afraid XL. I’m dead serious.

Naked and Afraid is an American reality TV show on the Discovery Channel.

Hear me out now.

This show takes one male and one female “professional survivalist” and dumps them out in the wilderness with no clothes, no food, and no shelter and they have to use their skills to survive for three weeks. This even in itself is fascinating. Then they did a special season with 12 people who had done well previously, and they put them out in four groups of three in the same area to survive for 40 days.

One group of three men was dubbed “The Alpha Males.” They displayed exaggerated negative traits of masculinity-or what people generally think of to be masculine traits. They were aggressive, hasty, and competitive. Once all of the groups met (which was supposed to happen) everyone but the “alpha males” formed a little tribe. They decided to camp a ways away so they didn’t have to share their resources. They tried to hide food they caught so that they wouldn’t have to share it.

But examples of negative masculine traits are easy to find.

Now this is the part I’ve given a lot of thought to: within the little tribe (everyone but the “alpha males”) there was a great example of Sacred Masculine qualities. No one elected him leader, and he didn’t call himself the leader, he just naturally was. When there was indecision, the others automatically turned to him for advice. When he caught food (no matter how small) there was no question that he was going to split it with everyone. He was a mediator, not in a “here, let ME fix it!” way, but to keep order within the group. He didn’t start drama, but he said what needed to be said, even if some people were upset about it. It was obvious that his mindset wasn’t “me” it was “us.”

My favorite example was at the end of the special season. They all had to meet a boat that was going to rescue them once they’d finished their 40 days. The “alpha males” woke up super early and left quietly so that they could travel without being “slowed down” by the others.

Once the larger group realized the “alpha males” had left without them, they headed out too. They were tired. They hadn’t eaten in days. Then they came to cross a wide river they had to cross. You’ll never guess who was the last to shore on the other side: the leader. When one of the group’s members was struggling because he wasn’t a good swimmer, the leader swam back to help him across, and only when he knew everyone was safely across did he climb ashore too.

Because that, my friends, is what positive masculine traits look like.


Crystals and Tarot

There are 78 tarot cards.

Thousands of decks.

Billions of crystals.

So how the hell do you know what crystals to use with your tarot readings?

The short answer is this: you fucking don’t. Seriously. You just pick some and go.

All I can tell you about that is how I, personally, pick some and go. I go about it different ways.


Does the deck I’m using have a favorite?

That might seem like a crazy ass question, but…does it?


My Deviant Moon deck won’t tell me shit unless it has its trusty little clear quartz point with it.



My Antique Anatomy Tarot is a weird little magpie. It sort of collects odds and ends that it decides it likes to have close. Its current accessories are both of these quartz points, my solid copper pendulum, and this button. (I think the button is abalone.) Any time I use this deck, its shiny little stash is also present.


Is there a theme to the deck I’m using?

Another potentially insane question: is there an elemental (or otherwise) theme to my deck that crystals might be able to enhance?

Example one:


This is the Cephalopod Tarot. Obviously, it’s watery as shit, so some watery crystals work great with it. Pictured are a blue fluorite point and a chunk of amazonite.



How about the Wooden Tarot? Earthy as all hell. Here I have smoky quartz, petrified wood, and jasper with it.


What kind of a reading am I going to do?

Is there something specific you’re asking the cards that crystals might be able to¬†help out with?

For a relationship/love reading, I would probably grab either some rose quartz or some green crystals to connect to Anahata (the “Heart Chakra”).


Or a full moon reading might need some selenite or moonstone.

Moon Phases Oracle

Is there anything you, the reader, need during this reading?

Is it Samhain? Are you trying to channel or connect with something? You’ll probably need some protection.


Black obsidian, smoky quartz, hematite, rutilated quartz, and black tourmaline are all good crystals to use to keep yourself safe during potentially “dangerous” readings.

Maybe you’re working with the cards to try and hone your intuitive powers.


I like to use amethyst, celestite, or sodalite.

This is a lot of bullshit and I don’t know.

Just use some damn clear quartz then.