I’m a married 27-year-old mother of three kids, two potbelly pigs, two dogs, and an annoying fucking cat. I live in Colorado. Here’s a bullet-pointed list of some shit about me as a person:

  • I’ve had a creepy love of occult and metaphysical things since I was about 7. There used to be a little metaphysical shop in the mall and my mother would take me there.
  • I’m a certified yoga teacher and I occasionally teach people, but I don’t touch them and I refuse to try and sell it as “exercise.”
  • My Myers Briggs personality is INTP.
  • My in-laws literally think I’m Satan.
  • I don’t really know what I’d call my beliefs. Maybe Spiritual Atheist.
  • If I were a meme, I would be Grumpy Cat.

I’m obligated to put a picture of myself here. This is me doing yoga in my living room.