I am forever doomed to point out things other people don’t like to talk about.
This post veers dangerously close to my issue with so much modern “spirituality” focusing only on the Sacred Feminine, but I’ll give you a chance to get all up-in-arms over my opinion on that in another post.
There are a million examples, articles, everything pointing out what the Sacred Feminine looks like. How to spot it, how to fix it, how to act like it. Everyone’s a goddess. In an (understandable) attempt to overthrow male dominated societies, masculine traits have become almost demonized. We’re overcorrecting.
There are a few articles out there that will break the Sacred Masculine down into the Sage, Father, Lover, Warrior, etc. But WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE?
Enter my odd example.
Naked and Afraid XL. I’m dead serious.
Naked and Afraid is an American reality TV show on the Discovery Channel.
Hear me out now.
This show takes one male and one female “professional survivalist” and dumps them out in the wilderness with no clothes, no food, and no shelter and they have to use their skills to survive for three weeks. This even in itself is fascinating. Then they did a special season with 12 people who had done well previously, and they put them out in four groups of three in the same area to survive for 40 days.
One group of three men was dubbed “The Alpha Males.” They displayed exaggerated negative traits of masculinity-or what people generally think of to be masculine traits. They were aggressive, hasty, and competitive. Once all of the groups met (which was supposed to happen) everyone but the “alpha males” formed a little tribe. They decided to camp a ways away so they didn’t have to share their resources. They tried to hide food they caught so that they wouldn’t have to share it.
But examples of negative masculine traits are easy to find.
Now this is the part I’ve given a lot of thought to: within the little tribe (everyone but the “alpha males”) there was a great example of Sacred Masculine qualities. No one elected him leader, and he didn’t call himself the leader, he just naturally was. When there was indecision, the others automatically turned to him for advice. When he caught food (no matter how small) there was no question that he was going to split it with everyone. He was a mediator, not in a “here, let ME fix it!” way, but to keep order within the group. He didn’t start drama, but he said what needed to be said, even if some people were upset about it. It was obvious that his mindset wasn’t “me” it was “us.”
My favorite example was at the end of the special season. They all had to meet a boat that was going to rescue them once they’d finished their 40 days. The “alpha males” woke up super early and left quietly so that they could travel without being “slowed down” by the others.
Once the larger group realized the “alpha males” had left without them, they headed out too. They were tired. They hadn’t eaten in days. Then they came to cross a wide river they had to cross. You’ll never guess who was the last to shore on the other side: the leader. When one of the group’s members was struggling because he wasn’t a good swimmer, the leader swam back to help him across, and only when he knew everyone was safely across did he climb ashore too.
Because that, my friends, is what positive masculine traits look like.