Cards I Can’t Fucking Deal With

Everyone seems to have the same few “least favorite” tarot cards: The Tower, 10 of Swords, 3 of Swords, 5 of Anything.

Me? I don’t mind bad news. What I mind is hideous fucking artwork.

Allow me to share with you a few of the abominations that hide among my decks.

 

The Chariot from The Robin Wood Tarot

The Chariot from The Robin Wood Tarot

I already talked about this asshole a bit on my Instagram page, but what is the deal here? I’ve always felt like The Chariot was about the strength of wrangling opposing forces and using it to get places. But not for this douche. I guess he’s whipped so much ass that the opposing horses don’t even dare fucking argue, and he just strums his little harp as he blazes gloriously forward with that…that face. Or maybe I’m reading this completely wrong and he’s just on a puppet stage.

 

The Magician from the Aquarian Tarot

The Magician from the Aquarian Tarot

I don’t know if it’s the necklessness, the mustache, or whatever the hell is going on with his hair/hat/head, but this guy creeps me out. He looks like he’s spent the last three years of his life trying to lure kids into his car with candy and he’s finally gotten one and brought it home and now he’s not sure what to do.

 

The Wheel of Fortune from the Robin Wood Tarot

The Wheel of Fortune from the Robin Wood Tarot

 

What the hell?

This one deserves a fucking award of some kind. I do believe this is my top-hated card. So far.

 

Tarot of the Secret Forest

Tarot of the Secret Forest

QUICK! WHAT CARD IS THIS?

If you said The Tower, you’re fucking wrong. This is the 4 of Cups. Is this not a tower with giant, ferocious waves crashing  against it?

This deck is FUCKING GORGEOUS, but this card is just to confusing.

 

Ace of Pentacles from Deviant Moon Tarot

Ace of Pentacles from Deviant Moon Tarot

This card isn’t in the “hideous” category. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s a really cool dragon.

This card is in the “what the hell is this doing in here” category. I love the Deviant Moon deck. I love its personality, its sarcasm, and its humor. I love the monstery and moon-faced citizens. And then all of a sudden: this. It’s just so different, it’s jarring during readings. I want a re-do of this card. I want a moon-faced citizen, and then I want 77 more dragon cards to go with this one.

 

The world is full of fucking atrocities, including our favorite tarot decks. What cards can’t YOU stand?

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Cards I Can’t Fucking Deal With

  1. artofsymbols says:

    I really, really sympathize with this… My personal card of hatred is the King of Pentacles from the Gilded Tarot, he has a great deal too much in common with the Magician featured here.

    Like

  2. Katzi says:

    Ha! Before I scrolled down to see what you wrote about that Wheel of Fortune card, I was all, “What the hell?!?!?!?” at my computer screen! What the fuck is going on in that card?! What’s going on with that creepo Magician? And the Chariot creep??? Those are some crazy ass cards!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those cards are horrid! I am quite fond of the steampunk deck myself, perhaps it’s suitable to your tastes as well.

    Like

  4. *Chloegypsy says:

    I really HATE that chariot guy. He looks like a fucking asshole. And I love your description of that Magician! What a creeper 😱.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. tillytarot says:

    I’m laughing so hard right now. But this is actually an awesome idea. I have a blog draft that I left totally unfinished on the weird cards in my favorite deck… this is great inspiration!

    Like

  6. While I understand where you’re coming from when you describe the Magician from the Aquarian Tarot, the card that REALLY bothers me from that deck is Strength. I don’t like it.
    Overall, I think the rest of the deck is beautiful in its modern art sort of way, despite the occasional awkward card.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s